Friday, November 7, 2008

Ah-tattooed huh?

To get ink on one's body is not a joke, at least i like to believe so. So many of my friends had been wanting to get one done and am proud to say i beat them all. Alright, i will mellow it down a tad bit.
But, trust me, those squirms were worth it all, especially when i got to see the end product. 

Its funny how words don't flow naturally when you get conscious of what you write. Here I am , weighing every word, thinking twice before i pen down each line. This one goes out to all those who wanted me to write about my tattoo experience.  Thanks Pav, Div, Deep, Asha, Aditi, Babu and Rajesh-you rock!

It's that time of the day when people twitch and turn in bed and being a complete sluggard i would do nothing but that on a Sunday morning. still makes the wee hours of dawn as far as i am concerened especially post a late previous night out and here i was, up at 9, in fact sprung up when my flatmate called and my phone buzzed. "Its tattoo time dudette, you have an appointment at 10," she said. " F*** the appointment i wana sleep.." is all i could think at that particular moment. But, she didn't give up, the darling that she is, Deeps makes sure she does the job assigned to her with full commitment and so she did, even if the Bee chickened out from accompanying me only to get back to her slumber mode. Hmm...I still forgive you, honey. 

This was my second day at Zorba tattooes, not because the first round of rendevouz with the artist went stale. It was as enthralling as it could ever get, the designs, the reassurance, the atmosphere and the people--they were all fantastic. Only, the bits and pieces on the "after care" which made me a little unsure about getting one done on a Saturday. I would have had to give up all that fun and frolic, which some of us yearn for, once a week. Yeah, call me a bimbette for doing so, but am fine and glad i didn't the same day. 

Aditi did (yes she DID a tattoo) one the same day. PS/- No change of name here to protect identities ;)  A mother of two pretty lasses, she is as cool as cucumber with no signs of sores or remorse. That inspired me, but to think again for a lady who has gone through labour pain twice, this one would obviously be a cake walk and that got me more apprehensive. The last thing i want is me yelling and jumping outta the hotseat the moment those needles went down my skin. Ouch. That would be something..But what the F? If it was as icky and arduous as i thought it was, then howcome so many of them flaunt one-on the back, the neck, arms, thighs and on all the wrong rather right places? Okay, the known drama queen i am , i wont burlesque this wonderful art anymore.

Back to the Sunday morning flash- I reach 45 minutes late, this time it was only the three of us- a lot fewer from the pervious day's jing bang crowd who did a lot to make it easier on Aditi, who really didn't require all the jazz. Anyways. While, i had my numbing lotion on, Asha got to chose what she wanted. After an hour with the ointment, which could NOT quite numb my senses, Rajesh got on to some serious work. The nervousness was something that of a child getting on stage for an extempore for the first time. For me it was a little worse than that. 
The first prick-NOTHING and i felt relieved. To be honest i did not even realise the needle bristles on my back. I was excited and shouted "go for it" . He was only outlining it; the feeling is quite inexplicable-it was ticklish, irritating , scratchy all at the same time. Thank God it aint painful was all i gasped!
It took him about an hour to finish the outline while my buddies kept me busy. I was so restless and couldn't wait for him to be done with it. Once the outline was done, i thought the job was much easier and that the filling won't take too long. It's like face painting right? I thought.
Hell broke free when he started filling..gosh and the naive me thought it was over. This was more of a swearing, writhing in pain; huffing and puffing session when more foes i mean friends decided to join in. They were going ga-ga over the design and also ga-gagging me, asking me to shut up and not to flutter or else my butterfly would.. leaving only a mark on my back instead of a well-researched design.

Then there was Babu who kept the spirits up with his Congo. He plays such amazing Congo that you almost forget why you are there and for what. No, let me get the air of cynicism cleared. It was only a tattoo that i was getting done. Yeah i know no big sh**. 
But, for a person who used to screech and run at the sight of a syringe, this was an achievement. Again, so i like to believe. The design was superb, the colours were fab and the hurt was nothing compared to what you got in return. So here i come to the tattoo world and i plan to get another one soon. Yes,  it is so darn addictive-both the tattooes and that oohs, which follow. agree you cronies? Some attitude i say! :)

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Celebrating womanhood!

Today has been a disastrous one for me so far- I walk in to the office wearing my bathroom slippers (no more ROFLs, please), I get a correction on one of my stories and I trash a 100 rupee sodexho pass along with used tissues.

The worst one- I narrate everything with the innocence of an infant to my male colleagues, who can’t help but pick on women yet again! I wont call them MCPs; no, not all of them. But, why the heck do they think women can’t keep anything to themselves? The reason why I said not all are chauvinists is because of the use of words. Journalists and circumlocution! We sifted through various topics immediately from sense of fashion to the latest Bond- Daniel Craig. I finally manage to get Kudos for not liking him for his "good" looks. Relief! So one of them actually gives me a compliment saying "yeah that’s 'cause you are one of the sensible few" ;) I don't know how easily he jumped to that conclusion. Well. Not that I am complaining. The joy was short lived when I realised what the intention behind such an off-tangent compliment was. He wanted to see my bathroom slippers. He wanted to see if it was the usual pink one with butterflies/flowers on it. What a meanie (don't care if this sounds chic-ish)! No, they were much worse as a matter of fact. They were not the usual flip flops. Hey, wait a minute. I have already been warned that I give too much away in my blog. So I’ll skip the gory details of my fashion fiasco.

We (guess we did) celebrated "daughter's day" a couple of weeks ago. The woman, the mother, and now the daughter. I won’t be surprised if they go on adding to "the days" with aunt, sister, mothers in law all lined up. And finally 365 days won’t suffice for our celebration.

I am yet to understand the need for separate days for celebrating ones existence. And despite all of this balderdash, there is no rest to truculence.

Yeah time to get serious about minimal things, but significant ones. Niketa Mehta was only lucky to get justice from Him at the right time and that’s what you call Nick of Time, Ms Mehta!

I do not know why there was still an intrusion, later a big hullbaloo in to/on someone's private life. 

I am not campaigning for/against MTPs here. But, the whole judicial system arguing and spending ages on one little (ok may be not little) thing about a distressed woman not wanting a child fearing health issues (for the baby) is ridiculous. Such a sensitive issue was handled so irresponsibly by everyone around. Alas!

Without sounding like a feminist and trying hard not to get driven by those instincts, i would like to highlight another incident-now this ones funny! Ever heard of a woman paying alimony to her estranged hubby, and in India that too? I am sure there are umpteen other cases, not many reported though. This one case was interesting as the man in question had apparently lost his job and was going through a financial/emotional trauma with the divorce. The daughter comes to his rescue and convinced the mother to pay her father in distress. And the rest is history. Alls well that ends well!

I don't want to be the weaker sex, coz we are no more. We don't need reservation! How I wish the rest of the world echoed this sentiment! Anyways…there is no compromise on one thing though- we are definitely the more attractive sex.  Alright, I know what you are thinking, you men! *you are still the one made to suffer*DUH! Who cares? And we definitely don't fancy writing our names with pee (read Binoy and men like him ;)

Even amongst the dumbest of leaders there are some things to look forward to. Like our dear Sarah Palin, the U.S. Republican vice-presidential nominee, who recently threw up a few of the funniest quotes ever, of course, coming only second to Bushism:

Sarah Palin and Joe Biden took the stage in St. Louis for the vice-presidential debate, answering a first round of questions about the economy. Biden criticized the Bush administration, saying the country has suffered "the worst economic policies we've ever had." Palin said one way to gauge how bad the situation is would be to attend a child's soccer game and listen to parents: "I betcha you're going to hear some fear," she said. [Source: The Wall Street Journal]

So while Bush managed to badge the title of a clown, Palin was easily able to dodge her critics with glamour -- the latest victim of that being the Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari who was drooling at the former beauty queen and later invited trouble from all the feminists back home.

*Treasured trivia: A search by Reuters found that a 44-second video of Sarah Palin in a swimsuit in the 1984 Miss Alaska pageant had been viewed more than 700,000 times on the YouTube website since being posted on September 26.

When so much is being said about racism and discrimination, I don't know how many women would take a sexist comment lightly. May be it all depends on who tells what! 

Guys, bring it on! But, hey...

Some things do change. To WOO-manhood!!!! ;)


Tuesday, September 16, 2008

The Last Fear

This long due September post can talk about a million things as there have been a galore of events all over the world, the latest being the global financial crisis as Wall Street would call it. Since I don’t want to write about what I already write about and what has already been written about by those hundreds of more eloquent and authoritative authors, including analysts, CEOs and veteran financial journalists, I would stick to my blog domain and try and be oblivious to all those more important happenings at my workplace and around me.

I saw The Last Lear on Sunday; it was not one of those must-watch movies in my list to go on the second day of its nation-wide release. It was neither one of those detestable pieces of art that we call “art cinema or parallel cinema”, I would never go to. With all due respect to the brilliant artists behind the scenes who delve in to such a lot of research and attention to detail in their movies! Sorry, may be I am not that intelligent to understand the nitty gritties of the same and the reason behind the long eerie silence that persist through out such flicks devoid of the otherwise interesting background score. I might be one of those dumb journos who can’t understand such work of art, but it’s ok. Someday I will, I hope.

But, the reason that pulled me to the Last Lear was obvious. Nope, if you think it’s the Bachchan magic, then sorry I am no Big B big fan. Stop guessing the reasons; you will go wrong time and again. I am not pro-MNS either. I can’t stop thinking in my language and start my thought processes in Marathi only because I am in Mumbai -- for no shivs, no senas or senapatis. Me not being in Mumbai is a different issue altogether and so is me being in namma Bengalooru and cannot speak Kannada. Yeah so, what if Jaya Bachchan said she'd speak only in Hindi while addressing a gathering? How would she be possibly hurting any Maharashtrian sentiment with that statement, is beyond my comprehension. It’s ridiculous for the nephew of the majestic Shiv Sena chief Bal Thackeray to stoop to such levels of regional fanatism. Not that the latter is any better. Makes matters worse with the two being at extreme loggerheads now.

Someone tells me it’s all a stunt just ahead of the premier of Mr. Arindam Chaudhary's debut production venture. I disagree with that someone simply because the Thackerays are heavy names to be meddled with in such publicity mayhems.

The movie was a smoother or rather one like a smoothie drink, which has to be patiently taken in small portions and leaves you with satisfaction towards the end.

It was indeed the legendary director in Rituparno Ghosh doing the trick yet again. I would not hold back my appreciation for Mr Bee, who despite hamming has made the character look real. Preity Zinta was average and Divya Dutta doing justice to those stereo typical roles that come her way. This time it was of a home nurse who is madly and sadly in love with one of those possessive types who remains a mystery through out.

Arjun Rampal, as hot as ever *wink wink, doing a good job as the director of the movie within the movie.

I don't want to talk about each character in the movie as it doesn't warrant so much. It was not an extraordinary movie, but the ratings and reviews do lie some time. It was just another ordinary flick taken with immense care to take it off the "commercial" list. Nevertheless, it was a cinema watchable for its directorial goodies. And not to forget, watch it for the recitals by the angry “old” man of all the greatest passages from Shakespeare.

I am afraid the Thackerays' fixation with Maharasthra and Marathi might one day drive out one of the biggest and most colourful/sought after industries -Bollywood- from the state.

With an apology, the Bachchans overcame their nightmare of getting expelled from the clan, while certain other industry pros are still struggling to establish their foothold in what may be described as "nativist politics". Nice plot for another movie on the Sarkar raj or Raj's sarkar :), this time may be we could call it, errr..ahem- The Last Fear!!!?!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Namesake :)

After the torminous job of choosing a name for the baby, she finally settles on Siddarth with a double Dee. It’s amazing to know to what extent people go to name their kids. It’s fun and formidable at the same time, especially when you have conflicting views with your partner. Yes that’s how big a deal naming a child is, it gets bigger if he/she is your first "bundle of joy". Six of my friends are pregnant with their first child, the dates are one after the other--have you ever imagined how pregnancy-ward hopping is gonna be like? Well, it’s high time i thought of something like that.
Another interesting aspect of "naming" is how careful people are about what those names mean...For i am yet to figure out why some Brits and Americans have funny names like --"Waterman", "Bird", "Witherspoon"...ha , funnier still-- Justin Timberlake, Dick Pole..hold your breath there’s more to come with the likes of Dick Hyman...(rolling on the floor laughing) I am not kidding, the names i took now are all celebrities of some sorts. Timberlake is the cute singer who is a heart throb to many; Pole is a baseball player, quite a famous one at that; and my favourite--Mr. Hyman is an American jazz pianist. *Disclaimer:No offence meant to anyone through this article.
The legacy of names/naming goes on and has become the latest fad stick for all celebrities to stand out with extraordinary (read acceptable) names.
Brangelina leads the race, undoubtedly, with the couple taking credit for some of the best and most innovative names so far.
U.S. Social Security online records revealed that when the couple named their first biological daughter Shiloh in 2006, it cracked the top 1,000 most popular baby names last year for the first time. [source:ET].
I love all of them - Shiloh Nouvel, Zahara, Maddox, Pax, Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline.
TomKat doing a not-so-bad job here too with Suri Cruise :)
At a recent baby shower, we were figuring out all possible permutations and combinations for the parents- If its a girl- then the suggestions that came up were Inikkaa, Mrinalini, Mrinalika and for the boy- Sanath, Arin, Ishaan etc etc. The mother struck Ishaan off the list as soon as she realised that was the name of the dyslexic kid in Aamir Khan's Taare Zameen Par. Boo hoo!!!
The influence of media, there too, huh? Yes, it can be pretty annoying. After all what’s in a name??
That makes me get in to the next topic of discussion- the concept of having psuedo names in the BPO industry, as a follow on to the pen names (Nom de Plume) that writers had earlier. Like Mark Twain (for Samuel Clemens) and Lewis Carroll (for Charles Dodgson); its writer's discretion on whether to use a pseudonym or not. Not everyone adopts a fictitious name for a fictitious reason though. What I am confused about is the use of pseudonyms in the BPO industry. Why would you ever want to change your name just because the new one is easier to pronounce for the English-speaking community? Why can’t they get used to Indian names like we are getting used to funny names from all around the world. My bro has a new name at his workplace despite having a good enough real name for himself. He is Binoy Benhur to us and Brian Walkar at his workplace. He says his clients relate to Brian better than they do to Binoy and calls it sexy. Hmmm..I am not convinced and am not sure if I ever will be; for someone to change his/her name according to certain people's convenience is beyond my understanding. If we are asked to pronounce to-die for perfume and luxury goods brands like Dolce and Gabbana, Givenchy, Yves Saint Laurent, Louis Vuitton the way they want us to. I cant wait to see the day when someone actually brings out a bag named "Ramachandran Subramanium Surianarayana Iyer"..LOL
Signing off,
Tresa Sherin Morera
PS/-I absolutely love the way my name sounds even with variations to the first name like Treeza, Teresa, Theresa, Tressa. Go on guys, am all ears :)

Friday, July 11, 2008

Confessions of a flatmate

This one’s for you, Dev :)
So, if you ask me what’s been up with me and my life, I have only one thing to say... It’s been bloody busy! Nice alliteration, but its true. I have been trying to find a new house/flat to move in to or I have to find a new flat mate before the end of this month, my office is getting shifted to Airport road from MG road. I could have done away with half of these problems only if my roomie was not going back to Pune to be with her mom. Devyani darling, this is not a complaint box I swear, it's only a forum to vent out all the feelings. And you bloody well know that I will miss you. Even though you did not give me those Tobblerone white chocolates, even if you dirtied (you still do) my bathroom by stepping on the wet floor each time, those ghee filled rotis you’ve made and even if you don't disclose where exactly you are going and which company you are joining... I would still keep in touch! I wonder who I’d bitch with, complain to, and make faces at, once you are gone. Hmm…I did NOT mean to make this corny.
I freaked out when I put your perfume bottle down and broke it in to a million pieces. That was worse than how I felt when I stepped on my colleague's i-pod ear phones and broke it, much worse than losing my credit card and getting billed for something which I haven't purchased, however a wee better than leaving my debit card inside the ATM and then forgetting to take it out. Because that leaves you with no other option, but starve for cash till a new card is re-issued to you, which normally takes about a week and a half. The feeling is awful and I am left looking like an idiot!
And to add to the miseries, I did not know which address to give the bank so that they could send me a new ATM card. I can't give my residence address because I do not know where I am shifting to, I cannot give my office address as I do not know when I will be moving to the new premises.
It is nice to know some one weird. The enigma falls behind once you make friends with him/her. You get the freedom to discuss all that is much stranger, eerier and sleazier. I will miss them and the ones I have already talked about – of the condescended contours we have together checked out ;), emolument and ethos; qualities and qualms.
For those of you, who don't know Dev, here are some snippets on this snippet- man shes WEIRD..puff! She had this huge, but adorable dog named Rex, who she sent it back to Pune partly coz of me. But, I can bet she doesn't regret it, and neither do I. Her room will always be the messiest with pieces of clothes (of size zero ;) strewn around everywhere. Moody mostly, but got Phoebe's dry and sarky humour. Oh especially when she kicks Ben's ass. A psycho when she's angry. Gosh! And I thought I was bad, at least I am not destructive. God save whoever is next to her when she blows her top off.
So, what if A***a is still with Mohammed Kaif and chics like N**a always mange to pass the buck to the otherwise unblemished lambs like you know who. Its magical how some of these women who cheat, lie and hurt men, still steer clear of the guilt and get away with it.
For once, I love playing the devil and not an angel : P And we make a pair at that.
FYI- I would have flayed you alive if you had broken my Nina Ricci and shamelessly apologised later.
But hey, thank you for being the weirdest sweetheart ever! :)

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

An eye for an eye-PL

Crickmicks amaze me and bring in the big Q- Why do I follow these matches ardently? Every time I am in front of the idiot box to watch a match, I had had to swap names with it. I am crazy about the game, I don’t know if it’s fair to use the present tense anymore because I have the television right in front of me with the Indo-Pak match going on and I am not even bothered. There was this time when I used to get glued to my seat in front of the TV set whenever India played, even if it was with the easiest of our rivals. The excitement of an India- Pakistan match needs no explanation. And now, when India has slaughtered the Pak team with 330 runs on board and Pak struggling with only 180 and 9 wickets down. And India wins! Pakistan 190 all out...applaud, over and out!
So what is the matter now? Where is all that "Its an India-Pak match today and i want to take off from work" gone ?
I wonder if it’s the post-IPL effect and all those gimmicks that came along with it- Bhaji slapping, Sree crying...Yuck! King Khan's tiff with Dada, the Royally Challenged fiasco with Charu getting fired..What not!
Oh yeah, not to forget the Mumbai Non-Indian cheer leaders and the length of their skirts, which was blown out of proportion. Thanks to the media. Thanckeray.
The game is finding new ways to take the seriousness out of it. It started with the Mand-era and her bloopers. But, she managed catching many an eye with those noodle straps and tri-colour saris. Some were caught, while some others clean bowled.
We are getting an overdose of the game and its getting on my nerves. Its all about the money now, however, the effort to raise it to the EPL (English Premier League) level is still a little far fetched. I can still take the game and the players, even while they are on the ramp, but what I cannot take is the intrusion of Bollywood. Why can’t each one stick to ones own profession and enjoy the game back home. Be a fan and no more. We don't need film stars sitting around, deciding the strategies of the team and reviewing the game plan for crying out loud.
Cricket is considered a religion in this country, (a) coz we are good at it (b) coz of the massive fan-following. I can’t think of more reasons at this stage, but am sure there are many more.
The IPL, which is the brainchild of the BCCI, is backed by the ICC (International Cricket Council). I don't know why it should be "the great revenue generator" for the already richest cricketing body in the world. But, it will be nice to see half of the dough going to charity, some of it going to the development of other games and sports in the country and only the remaining shared among the cricketers, the board and the body.
And then I would love to endorse it- "An eye for an IPL match".
*Issued in public interest.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Jingles all the way!

"Everyday i want to fly, stay by my side..." I have my colleague in splits every time i hum the tune -- forget singing it. He titters each time I start singing, especially those silly ad jingles which keep resonating in my mind. I am pathetic when it comes to singing, i simply CANNOT sing. NO, not even to save my life! But, that doesn't stop me from humming my favourite tunes. It’s my right! Ah! And it’s your right to criticize. Alright, alright...Truce :)

Talk about ad jingles and the ones i most remember from my childhood are the ones like " Humhara Bajaj" with a tinge of patriotism, "I am a growing girl look how i am shooting up.." from the Complan ad and " jab main chota bacha tha , badi shararat karta tha, meri chori pakdi jaati , roshni deta Bajaj" -- my growing-up memoirs, not to forget the sexy sassy Liril ad & jingle "Laa laralarala laa laaa laaa". These are few of my favourites. I am sure i have left out many more from my repertoire.
The most recent ones I prefer include the Hutch-Vodafone, Bacardi, Tata Safari and shockingly the "shock laga laga shock laga" one. Chuckle..this time its self!

#Tresaured Trivia: The best claim to the first jingle is General Mills, who aired the world’s first singing commercial; it was a radio bite entitled "Have You Tried Wheaties" - backtracked to 1926.

It takes no time for us to start crooning when we hear some really catchy tune and most often it translates in to a chain, every one around you get caught with the same popular tune with each of them singing one after the other. It becomes duet first and later chorus.
So, now i am a (self) PRO-claimed SINGER of jingles and i don’t need to take singing lessons anymore. Not like i would have otherwise.
Talking of taking lessons, i have wanted to enroll myself at the SDIPA (Shiamak Davar Institue of Performing Arts) as well as at the Mezclao Acedemy for Salsa classes for quite sometime. No, i don’t have two left feet. I absolutely love dancing. It’s a great stress buster and this will help me meet like-minded people at these institutes.
With the upsurge in singing/dancing competitions on TV, the concept of one-in-a-million talent has gone for a toss. Every second person you meet can either sing or dance and if not for these two, they become stand-up comedians. Tickling one's funny bone is the toughest among the three, even though most jokes these days are based on politicians, movie stars and the husband-wife relationship.
The only times when commercials come as relief to me are between the "star singer/dancer" programs. I love those breaks so that i can resume the karaoke.
And I sing. *Jingle sells jingle sells. Jingle all the way…

Tresapass on my site-let me know your favourite jingle :)

Monday, May 5, 2008

Bells, belles and bellies

It is summer time folks, the time of the year when laziness creeps in -- the surge in temperatures, the scorching sun, the dehydrated bodies, the humidity, all that sweat..what makes me lazier than the usual lazy person i am. I guess that explains my AWOL from the blog site for long. I am not the indoor kinds, i am not the outdoor types either especially during this weather. sigh! If only i had a choice. Okay, that's the boring me for you, when people write poems, spread the messages of love, lust and the likes, bird watch all during the summers, i really cant think of better things to do. Not in the southern part of India at least (Bangalore summers is equally pathetic these days), which is located at xx degree longitude, yy degree latitude, zz degree altitude and xyz CLOSE to the equator. Decipherment- i think the ones nearest to the equator are the hottest places on the earth. Yes, my geography sucks, does the weather. So be it!
I want to start gymming, i want to get rid of that dirty paunch, just that.. you see, and i am confident that i'd get back in shape soon...Its no big deal, its so darn easy with those crunches and in 2-3 weeks it will be gone, some self motivation i say! But nothings stopping me from what i usually do and what i want to do-- i cant stop hogging, i cant wake up early-- nope, not in this weather (will think of a better excuse during winters;) i cant sweat it out because the heat/perspiration is already killing.
Now what? okay, with the "no short-cuts to success" adage pricking my conscience i decide to work something out, i have decided to work out. And work hard at it.
I reach office, i Google for the best gyms around my living place, get the numbers, think of the best time to go and by the time i am ready to roll the much gathered inspiration becomes short-lived. As if them being short cuts were not enough. * I need no gymming, its a only the shmaall lil belly that needs to go. Think i can get rid of it with those simple stomach crunches everyday. That's awesome display of fortitude and determination. Sarcasm!* Isn't it? And it continues...
Let me think of reasons why i need to get an hour glass:
1) wedding Bells - no way! There is a long way to go before . So am off that road for now. I have many girl friends who'd give up anything for that 36-26-36.. Oh ! c'mon no one has a 24 in the middle these days and I have seen many more moiling right before their MMMM D-day.
2) other Belles - nope, not really. why would i care unless i have competition ;) *psst psst there comes the petite B**** and why does Kareena look so anorexic in Tashan? Is that the latest "tashan" ?
3) beer Bellies - i am a teetotaller.
I don't have 10 reasons with me for toiling it out for the "miss perfect ten" sash while I have hundred why i don't have to.
Time to change --the weather, the mood, the sloth and the shoes. Have a million reasons why you should try and not give up. So whats motivating? Well, tell me i cant and i will prove you wrong. Ridicule me and i accept the challenge. Write me off and i will show u..uff!!!! Fish it man!
It is spring time- i know it is as Google had lots of flowers on its logo on one of the days in the last week of March. And May 26 is Spring Holiday in the UK. I am looking forward to it. No, i am not in the UK yet, i am only/also a part of a job outsourced. And whoever thought journalism could not be outsourced! But its fun, u get holidays for reasons u don't know of and the days when everyone else is slogging. Not to forget the comp offs for working on Indian hols. So smiling now and the swift change in mood. Pick up a reason why you want to cut those flabs out (I reiterate i don't have too many of them). *Imagining again:That nice svelte satin evening wear, the sexy navel piercing, a tattoo or two. Sigh! Not too far away i mean. Yes Tres, go for it! :)
Moral -You can get out from the sultriness and sluggishness to lots of colour and activity in a jiffy. Its all in the mind.

Monday, April 14, 2008

A 'glorified' p(i)lot against an MP

Its been some days since the drama unfolded. We have a memeber of parliament fighting for his rights as an MP on one side and an Air India pilot who says he was violated on the other. And just when we thought the tussle, which has more to do with ego now, will get nastier, the Muslim League Member of Par-lie-ment from Kerala, Abdul Wahab, has agreed to forget all the "bitterness" . The reason for such a retraction is funny. He said he wants to let "bygonesbe bygones", a week after he called flight Captain Rajat Rana of Air India a "glorified driver". The pilot had asked Wahab to get off the plane after an argument over his latecoming. Well, there are different versions of the same story. The flight could not have been possibly delayed due to an MP and the fight between him and the pilot not getting resolved on board. So, please respond if anyone was on the same flight as them. I left this piece incomplete last week, now when i want to wrap it up i cant remember what went wrong to call it an issue, a controversy. So much for a follow up, so much for information bombardment-the stuff we call intelligent information here in Thomson-Reuters...
Yeah, so my point here is very simple- when the "right of common man against that of politician" was becoming a big controversy through the context and may be a little interesting (ofcourse much lesser than the IPL matches) it went back in to the hush mode.
The last debatable material was the "MP threatening to move a privilege motion in the parliament against Mr. Rana, the pilot of the plane, who maintained that he was only safe guarding the passenger's interest. We had a perfect scenario for a "Voice of the People" talk show sorta thing.
Things took a different turn when the Indian Commercial Pilots Association retaliated back saying it would file a defamation suit against the "lawmaker" after he called the pilot a "glorified driver".
Okay, that was just another autopsy done on something long forgotten. Whilst the argument on special rights of special people continues...
Rushing the wrap and this might seem pretty unnerving to many as i am doing it without making a point. But i swear i will get back with a firmer foothold. I dont want to delay this any further and forget the importance of timeliness. So posting!

Monday, April 7, 2008

Locking horns!

Today is World Health Day. It marks the founding of the World Health Organization (WHO) 60 years ago. Guess how our country is contributing to the global health awareness campaign this time? The traffic department of India's financial capital, which has a vehicle population of about a million and a half, has asked people to observe a 'No Honking Day' today. As BBC reports, the initiative organised by Mumbai's traffic police, is an attempt to educate the city's 1.5 million drivers to be more considerate while driving. I do not know if this is a plan, implemented by the cops, keeping in mind the long-term benefits to be reaped in heaps. If it is so, then i think it is a brilliant and bold first step to eradicate one of the lesser global evils. Ok, i am not sure about 'lesser' but definitely an 'evil ' because noise pollution takes a major toll on your health. I also do not know how successful this campaign was in Mumbai to take cues from it . People had different views on it with some who said driving in Mumbai without honking is next to impossible. Nevertheless, it is a very good effort i must say. Such campaigns should not be confined only as an annual event; it should be done more often with ample support pouring in from both the private as well as the public sectors.
I am at the IT capital and i wish cops in the city also took proactive measures like these rather than penalising drivers using high beam in certain areas. Wish they focused more on curbing the high pollution levels in Bangalore than do those silly acts of moral policing by banning dancing in clubs. The once garden city with only the rustle of leaves and chirps of migratory birds is now the hub of atrocious high decibel levels. Research says vehicular noise even increases stress levels. So lets follow suit, please honk only when its most necessary or make blowing one's own horn a punishable offence. A definite pun there! :)

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Dhoni, Thackeray, Chidambaram and RAKHI SAWANT!

V/O- No, this is not one of those puzzles you get in an aptitude test -- to find out whats common between them or to strike the odd one out. To the ones who thought it was a game and made their own rules, i'd definitely like to know how many struck Miss Sawant out. LOL

This is about the media coverage each of them got in the past one month. I saw this ad on one of the daily broadsheets about a news channel, flaunting its coverage. Yeah, the advertisement of a news channel on a newspaper, which has a news channel of its own. Its not a big deal if you call that benevolence in a dog-eat-a-dog world. I'd like to call it 'mediaocrity magnanimity'- the new mantra of making money as news get transalted in to pure business. Now, its all about ads, viewerships and TRPs, the criterion that indicates the popularity of a channel , which later becomes very useful for the advertisers.

So, this channel as i was saying was talking about its coverage on a lot of events that took place recently. They said they beat most of the counterparts with their observation, analysis, and report on the Twenty-twenty cricket victory, the Raj Thackeray controversy, the financial budget and some more. If you are still thinking where Rakhi fits in, oh well she can sneak in anywhere and at anytime. Believe me!

The same channel's ostentation on how it leads with the maximum market share on the "news that matter" was proved by Rakhi's apperance on it a couple of days ago. It was not a simple cameo role for her. It was way beyond that. She was on primetime and her antics managed a bloody 10 minute slot on the channel. The story lacked only a flash, which was easily overidden by the star herself. And guess what the feature was about this time around -"Rakhi Sawant's item number being removed from the movie KRAZZY 4!". They got Rakhi puffing, panting, bantering, praying and crying on television. Wow... whatta story!

I dont want to question the ethics of journalism. Nor is this an attempt to vex the Fourth Estate. But, i would like to question ad guru Prahlad Kakkar's logic cum reasoning to whatever is going on after he said the media tell (verb to be soon replaced with sell) and show what the public wants to know. It could be true once i put it simpler--it caters to the tastes and views of the m-asses. That way, a job well done.

But, is that all people want to know about? Is the idea of creating sensation taken too literally that you have discussions on an actor's love life and keep betting on how long the star will spot a tattoo of his girl friend's name on his hand? I dont know. Beats me. I am yet to learn the art of 'page 3' reporting. I'd love to some day to satisfy my EQ (entertainment quotient). But as for now, i am happy being an amateur. I am done with my voice over.

PTC (Peace to Camera) - No more TV today. May be tomorrow ;)

Wednesday, April 2, 2008


I broke down at nothing, for nothing. That was not the first time. I have undergone such internal conflicts many a time before , but yesterday i just could not handle it. I was cranky, crazy and crappy and so were my reasons. I dont know how many people have reached the same threshold as i have, but all i know is that it was meaningless and beyond anyone's comprehension. It is the time when you are only millimeters away from solitude, which is also the almost preferred thing at that particular moment. You need time for yourself, but you also want the whole world to listen to your feelings. You are perplexed and spiteful, all at the same time. I'd even go a little further and be a sadist and wish 'some' others went through the same innnervations as i did. I am at my weirdest . What i write or do may not make any sense to anyone other than me. Its okay if noone relates to this one piece. I dont want anyone to understand how i feel. Not obstinate at that yet. I am writing this coz it makes me feel lighter-- in many ways. This could be the most bizarre topic anyone has ever written about. Sometimes its better to confuse yourself today than get convinced tomorrow that you were wrong yesterday. I leave catechization to priests., while I am still on a mission- the one that of confusion and final introspection!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Run Lola Run

I dont know if it is the regional bias which gets me addited to Lola Kutty or if it is genuinely the humour that is more than titillating. Eitherways, i love the way she gets going in her so called 'mal' accent. There is another kid on the block going the Lola way now. I saw her on Channel-V Campus Star and she was quite impressive. She did a wonderful job emanating Lola and preferred calling herslef Ammu Kutty - an easier name to relate to within Kerala. Ammu Kutty or Rachel, which is her real name, was funny too. I wonder where these guys get the inspiration for such satires from. There was a general dearth of jocularity and wit in the reel world for so long and this has given rise to innovations Full marks to Lola and her creative team for capitalising on the "God given opportunity ". Lola aka Anuradha Menon herself hails from the God's Own Country. So credits also go to my mallu comrades for being such good sports.
Mallus come second to Sardars vis-a-vis jokes made on a community, or may be its a close call. I dont know, but I used to take offence earlier and thought people were rude . I realise i was irrational and silly. Now, i take pride in being party to spoofs of any forms. Afterall, we are a community wide and large, spread across countries, continents and planets...or anywhere in the universe! Heard of Appu Kuttan Nair's chai kada (tea shop) on the moon yet? They serve amazing vadas and bondas ;)
Sohhh...Lola aandy keep rohcking! Trala LOLA la...

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Head on with Ekta!

I am definitely not talking about unity here as for that we are already overtly endorsing ourselves as the only nation where you find "Unity in Diversity". I am a proud Indian. Lets leave it at that.

Well, this Ekta is a lot different from the english synonym for her name. I am talking of the maestro of a,b,c,...K-series here. Different i say for the portrayal of so many characters in her productions. I dont see any ekta (unity) in them. All i hear about are stories of mothers-in- law illtreating their daughters -in-law and vice versa. And about 'i am the ideal bharitiya naari' type women surrounded by scantily- clad vamps trying to make lives difficult. For everyone! So many colours and so many beautiful people stuck in all the wrong places. If not for anything watch them for the make-overs, accessories, FINISH. Yeah, i'd love to see them finish, someday.

We are talking about the Jumping Jack Junior , Ekta Kapoor, now for reasons not known to many. Let me explain. Some day i want to have my own production house, which makes good sitcoms, which will tickle your funny bone. I will produce reality shows too. or may be a mix of both. What about a remake of "Friends" ? I would cast my self in Monica's role- the finicky and the best cook among them. *wicked smiley *blushing * Or "How I met you mother"- For those of you yet to watch these series , its truly hilarious.

My colleague even had an idea that he could not sell at the appropriate time - A show featuring Buddhiya - the world's youngest marathon runner and Prince, the six-year old boy rescued from a deep pit where he was trapped for more than two days. If you ask me why the two, then their grit speak volumes. I am ready to buy it even now, or even five years down the line when the two grow up and media forget them. leave them alone and when i have my own production house or/ and a news chanel which wont bother doing stories like "how a stray dog caused an airline in Bangalore to make an emergency landing" (post on it coming soon:). Wishful thinking, is it? SIGH!
Whatever. But message to Ekta is clear, stop making those torturous mega serials or get ready to phase out to Oh!mega.. being the last letter of the Greek alphabet.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Spatial issues between Mars and Venus

Marriages are made in heaven. What about relationships ? In space?
I say space because thats one recurrent word in all affiliations. The more you get involved with a person, the closer you get to his/her ideologies whether right or wrong. But, you need to give him space (i would only use 'him' henceforth for reasons too clear). Aargh!
Space here refers to the time he'd like to have for, of and by himself with no interruptions from any one, mind you no one, although it is annoying to give him that kinda space WHEN he wants. I consider talking as a more effective tool than aloofness during those 'testing' times. Its better that you vent out all the frustration on the person who understands you the most than just brood and waste time. Saves a lot. The time wiled away could also have been frutiful at whatever else you did other than sulk. "u no wat.. lemme fix my life.. i dun wan u 2 b a part of it for sumtime"- this simply doesnt work! I know a lot of them who also stay away from the 'soothing convos' to get away from silly arguments later, which are indispensable. I completely empathise, but dude keeping quiet is not quite an option either. Like i mentioned in my earlier post- love and shove, gel and yell, dream and scream. All together. Yesssssss corny, i know..well it was meant to be.
Does he still want space? I 'd rather let him join NASA.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Cuckolding - a cold crack

Taking over from where my friend left. He had his reasons for removing the post and i have mine to post one. Before doing so such a piece deserves a disclaimer at the outset. So here i go.
The opinions expressed are my own in their entirety and i take full onus of them. Its a mere point of view not a generic judgement on anyone or anything. However, i am set to receive harsh criticisms on the article.
The word cuckolding was introduced to me by my friend, i received the new word with all vigour but, i was later awestruck with its definition. It was insanely new to me, both the idea and the word. Gosh! You will know why now.
A cuckold is a married man whose wife has sex with other men. In current usage it sometimes refers to non-married couples in committed relationships as well, although the traditional meaning is a man whose wife is adulterous. Yeah exactly! I hear so many more virtual OMGs now. "Cuckold" is derived from the Old French for the Cuckoo bird, "Cocu" with the pejorative suffix -ald (Courtesy:Wikipedia)
I am yet to figure out if it is only a sexual fetish or a concept that is slowing taking its place in this obviously erroneous world where every living thing is given a right to individuality, sexuality and moroseness. Bah! Humbug!
My friend cited sensitivity and open-mindedness as reasons for taking out the article on Cuckolding from his blog. He said he did not want to offfend anyone. Really? What harm does it cause to lash out on what you think is ooh, aah or ouch? Pause and think, we are still in the same free world where one is given a right to individuality, sexuality blah blah blah.
The word cuckolding also gets its etymological derivation from the female cuckoo birds which lay their eggs in the nests of other birds, leaving them with the reputation of infidelity.
This hue and cry wont last too long, i know. I see the same chronology of events going forward like those when the idea of homosexuality was introduced to me and to those like me. I see the same debators flocking in, the ones who discussed if gay marriages should be made legal or not. I dont know if these things will be acceptable by all. Like how i am still trying to sink in to how people could turn gays.
Honestly, i dont care. You be what you want. I am not the nosy type who is bent on changing the world to my fancies, but i am pretty much the glossy journo who would pen down random thoughts on unusual ideas and concepts. I reiterate. This goes out only as my perspective, my perception. I am not here to set gays straight, but to stay straight and gay!

Anger Management

Grrr...Words do NOT come out when i am angry, but they are now, means i am not hot (you stereotypical a**h** its not what you think it is). And that interjection used is only to add that emotive quotient to my first post just like how we use those slimy smileys all the while. HA..
Well, i think i am aberrating here and i dont like it. If Anger can be described as an elevated form of impatience, the kinda feeling each one of us goes through at least once a life time; like when you want to piddle in a mall and there is a humungus queue at the restrooms/toilets, you lose it (pls read - not your bladder control for GS!).
Digression 2- These English have a funny way of naming certain things and places like please someone make them understand that a place one pees is an emergency room and not a place to rest for crying out loud(I just had to). There i go, another deviation from the main sub. Anyone losing patience yet coz there are more of these drifts to come.
Yeah, so my point rather question here is, can anger be called as impatience at its peak? Comments, thoughts, ideas anyone?
Anger - A strong feeling of displeasure or hostility, says If it is so why do we get angry with people who we love to talk to, with our friends, family and our well wishers? So there is more to it than a simple definition of sorts or so i think. I am one of the hottest (pun intended if you wish ;) heads around. Be it within my friends circle, in my family or buddies. I blow up for the silliest of reasons. I love people and hate them the very next minute. When angry of course. Nope, not a hypocritical bitch at that yet.
I am only trying to figure out whats wrong or special with my analytical and anatomical build. And i know i am not alone here. I am sure i will get umpteen friends' requests if i start a whimsically paranoid hot headed community in Orkut. For all the wrong reasons. Grrr again and digression 3) stay off u duds those who want to "make frandship with me" only coz you think i have a cute smile.
Getting back to anger management, i have been thinking of making a "casual" visit to the the closest shrink for a very long time. Snarl!!! Giving a second thought as i want to try those conventional methods first- yoga, meditation, blah blah blah. Easier still- write, talk, yell and finish it off. Trust me it works. If i flare up at the drop of a hat i cool down within the same time frame or with words of apology or love. Or whenever i dont then i sob. Now i write. Any takers? lol
PS/- Fresh ways of tackling anger (al)most welcome.